I Think the Pie is Burning
by Mird
Summary: Ed annoys Winry in the kitchen. Oneshot, depressingly overused, dialogue only practice.


**This is a response to my own challenge at: http: // www dot fanfiction dot net / forum / Fully_Combustive_Material_For_the_Fanfic_Author / 65591 / Please do visit.**

**This was easy to write. Does that mean I didn't work hard enough? Does it mean that I was slacking off and didn't do as well as I should've? Damn. Effortlessness makes me suspicious of quality.**

_I Think the Pie is Burning_

- "What are you doing?"

"Baking a pie."

- "What for? Shouldn't you be working on my automail?"

"Shouldn't you be..."

- "You should try harder to finish your sentences."

"I couldn't think of a good comeback."

- "Aw, come on! Where'd your endless wit disappear to?"

"I'm sorry. Really, I am. But I'm not a poet. Keep that in mind." (1)

- "You don't have to be a poet to be witty. I'M not a poet."

"You aren't witty, either."

- "...A man shouldn't be measured by his wit."

"Then what _should_ he be measured by?"

- "...Would you get mad if I said something dirty?"

"Yes. Yes, I would."

- "Then I got nothin'. Hey, when's that pie gonna be done?"

"Soon."

- "How soon is soon?"

"'Soon' would have been half an hour ago if you hadn't interrupted me."

- "I've only been here for a minute, Winry."

"Your mere presence in this house is extremely distracting."

- "Really? I'll be sure to use that to my advantage."

"Don't."

- "Don't what?"

"Don't lean over my shoulder like that. Your hair is getting in my face."

- "Sorry. Do you have a rubber band?"

"You need a haircut."

- "I don't want a haircut."

"Get a haircut."

- "Get a boyfriend."

"Get a girlfriend."

- "...This could work out rather nicely."

"Only if you get a haircut."

- "When's the pie gonna be done?"

"SOON."

- "I think it's burning."

"It's not burning."

- "It's burning, Winry. I can sense it."

"It's not burning! It's not even in the oven yet!"

- "The air is burning it."

"It's October."

- "What does that mean?"

"It means that it's cold outside, genius."

- "Well, it's nice and warm in here."

"Not warm enough to burn a pie."

- "You just don't want to admit that I'm right."

"You just don't want to admit that you're wrong."

- "I hold firm with my previous accusation."

"I think you're an idiot."

- "I think the pie is burning."

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

- "Better than what?"

"Annoying me?"

- "Nah. I can't do much without my automail. Which reminds me; shouldn't you be working on that right now?"

"How about you fix your own automail? Here's my wrench. Knock yourself out."

- "As opposed to you knocking me out?"

"Of course."

- "I think that wrench makes contact with my head more often than it makes contact with metal."

"Your head is made of metal."

- "Are you calling me thick-skulled?"

"If your skull weren't so thick, you would already know the answer."

- "Winry, the pie is burning. The pie is definitely burning."

"I'm starting to think that you have short-term memory loss."

- "Don't call me short!"

"You never change."

- "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're still exactly the same as you were when you were six years old."

- "That's not true, Winry."

"Prove it."

- "...My hair is longer than it used to be."

"Get a haircut!"

- "I'd rather not."

"We all have to do things that we'd rather not do, Ed. Deal with it."

- "Okay. Fix my automail so I can leave."

"I'd rather not."

- "Hypocrite."

"Shrimp."

- "I'M NOT-"

"Not what?"

- "...Not six years old anymore." (2)

"You're right. You aren't."

- "Winry?"

"Yeah?"

- "I think the pie is burning."

* * *

**I'm simply practicing dialogue. I'm trying to make it good enough that you can get a vague idea of what's happening even without description.**

**(1) A pathetic attempt to incorporate part of my challenge.**

**(2) Ed listened to Winry! He did! Is that OOC?**

**Is there any 'plot' or 'point' to this piece? Not really. But, really, what good fanfic author doesn't have a dialogue-only fic in which Ed visits Winry? I think the answer is fairly obvious. (This doesn't apply if you write yaoi)**


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